Dear Lilia, chasing Aurora Borealis is your Alechemist. Isn't necessary going to be freezing. If time allows, the earliest you can see it is September either in Tromso (Norway) or in Iceland. Then , for Finland, for example, the best time to see it is mid February-March, and it doesn't mean cold. You can do it!
Haha..in the North of Sweden it is also round February-March, some times it even "comes" to Stockholm, but the few times that it happened it was really cloudy...so so far still in the realms of dreams. Iceland is tempting though :-)
Hmm…good point, but I think that ambition is stll an ambition regardless of the goals. It still requires an effort and brings satisfaction when goal is reached…but it could be that pondering about ambition per se can be seen as luxury occupation, a luxurynot everyone can afford.
There's so much in your essay that I could probably write at least five separate responses to it. When I was growing up - the '90s and early 2000s - "ambitious" was, I think, one of the top things to be. We had to learn how to succeed in this supposedly new world after the regime fell, where meritocracy was, at least in theory, supposed to matter more. The logic went: if you no longer have connections, you have to fight for yourself, which means it's good to have concrete ambitions and a plan for pursuing them.
The truth is, connections still matter here enormously, no matter what you're after - finding a job, even getting properly admitted to a hospital and actually being looked after once you're there, anything. I sometimes think that for some people, ambition is precisely knowing as many useful people as possible.
Anyway, what I actually wanted to say is this: as a child, I kept hearing, from all sides, "Oh, you're really not ambitious." I absorbed that. I even started saying it about myself. Looking back now, I'd put it differently: if ambition means personal advancement, then for people who are "wired" to give more to those around them than to themselves, achieving that kind of ambition is extremely hard. For people like that, the goal is looking after everyone else, not yourself. Ironically, the "freedom" to focus on yourself, to be ambitious in that sense, only arrives once you're left (almost) alone. At least that's how I see it now.
This turned into a very long comment, but your piece genuinely made me reflect.
Thank you very much for reading, Mila. You bring a very different perspective to the discussion. I have never thought about the fact that, for many people, “ambition is precisely knowing as many useful people as possible.” I think this sort of ambition is shaped very much by the state of the society those people find themselves in. I think “connections” (or networks) are somewhat important everywhere, but I think in our reality they carry much more weight.
As for your second point, I think the ambition to help others is a calling. Sadly, not all of us possess it, at least not to the same extent. If more of us were ambitious about helping others, we would be in a much better place.
Your father’s ambition to live to 100 and his plans for the celebration reminded me of my grandmother, who recently passed away at that age. Reaching 100 had been one of her ambitions too. She lived long enough to enjoy her large birthday party, and five months later, she was gone. Your observation that ambitions become less about achieving or proving something and more about making the most of the years ahead really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing, Lilia.
I enjoyed this article! I teach at a high school of exceedingly high academic achievers and often have to talk about the idea of ambition with them. It's easy to be TOO ambitious, especially when you're a clever teenager, aiming to achieve in a million different ways. But being too ambitious is a trap, no matter how clever or hard-working or wealthy we happen to be, we are constrained by the facticity of our situation (especially time!) and so can only ever achieve certain things. As you mentioned, the key to achievement is having achievements that mature with you and are things you really care about (for whatever reason) that you can actually do, rather than making a shopping list of what everyone else thinks are "achievements" and trying to do all of them at once.
I've always felt that "ambition" and "potential" are both very abstract terms. I don't think either of them can exist in a vacuum, and children are often confused about what adults actually mean by them. I remember my teachers constantly telling my parents that I wasn't fulfilling my potential because I lacked ambition. I had no idea what they meant or what they wanted me to do. I even told my parents, "I hate my potential."
In hindsight, I probably had the potential to become a doctor, but I lacked the ambition because I didn't want to be a doctor. On the other hand, I had zero potential to be a good skier, but I did have enough ambition to at least give it a try.
I think what both parents and teachers often fail to recognise or communicate is the difference between a child's potential (to do something) and their ambitions (or lack of them). think both potential and ambitions are very specific to a certain goal...I hope that makes sense :-)
I recently had a pretty difficult stint where I felt all my major long-term goals were complete and struggled for a little while in a state of ambitionlessness.
After mentally floating aimlessly for a few months, I realized I'd only been chasing goals with clear finish-lines.
I had to realign my mindset a little and now my goals are more about ongoing and open-ended ambitions. Like you mentioned in the article, staying healthy is high on my list too and I've been walking a mile or two every day for almost six weeks now. I also set a goal to write at least one goofy little poem each day, but that usually turns into a dozen or so ☺️
Thank you for such a well-written and thoughtful article.
I am glad you like it. I am not always happy with how those questions are framed though, and try to interpret them in more personal way...some times I even don't like them at all and could not imagine using it on real table as a real talk...but it is a very interesting mental gymnastics, and inevitably they turn semi-autobiographical...some times i am surprise on the direction my answer is taking...thanks for reading
Dear Lilia, chasing Aurora Borealis is your Alechemist. Isn't necessary going to be freezing. If time allows, the earliest you can see it is September either in Tromso (Norway) or in Iceland. Then , for Finland, for example, the best time to see it is mid February-March, and it doesn't mean cold. You can do it!
Haha..in the North of Sweden it is also round February-March, some times it even "comes" to Stockholm, but the few times that it happened it was really cloudy...so so far still in the realms of dreams. Iceland is tempting though :-)
Ambition depends also of where you live. For some ambition can simply mean get from one day to another.
Hmm…good point, but I think that ambition is stll an ambition regardless of the goals. It still requires an effort and brings satisfaction when goal is reached…but it could be that pondering about ambition per se can be seen as luxury occupation, a luxurynot everyone can afford.
There's so much in your essay that I could probably write at least five separate responses to it. When I was growing up - the '90s and early 2000s - "ambitious" was, I think, one of the top things to be. We had to learn how to succeed in this supposedly new world after the regime fell, where meritocracy was, at least in theory, supposed to matter more. The logic went: if you no longer have connections, you have to fight for yourself, which means it's good to have concrete ambitions and a plan for pursuing them.
The truth is, connections still matter here enormously, no matter what you're after - finding a job, even getting properly admitted to a hospital and actually being looked after once you're there, anything. I sometimes think that for some people, ambition is precisely knowing as many useful people as possible.
Anyway, what I actually wanted to say is this: as a child, I kept hearing, from all sides, "Oh, you're really not ambitious." I absorbed that. I even started saying it about myself. Looking back now, I'd put it differently: if ambition means personal advancement, then for people who are "wired" to give more to those around them than to themselves, achieving that kind of ambition is extremely hard. For people like that, the goal is looking after everyone else, not yourself. Ironically, the "freedom" to focus on yourself, to be ambitious in that sense, only arrives once you're left (almost) alone. At least that's how I see it now.
This turned into a very long comment, but your piece genuinely made me reflect.
Thank you very much for reading, Mila. You bring a very different perspective to the discussion. I have never thought about the fact that, for many people, “ambition is precisely knowing as many useful people as possible.” I think this sort of ambition is shaped very much by the state of the society those people find themselves in. I think “connections” (or networks) are somewhat important everywhere, but I think in our reality they carry much more weight.
As for your second point, I think the ambition to help others is a calling. Sadly, not all of us possess it, at least not to the same extent. If more of us were ambitious about helping others, we would be in a much better place.
Take care.
Your father’s ambition to live to 100 and his plans for the celebration reminded me of my grandmother, who recently passed away at that age. Reaching 100 had been one of her ambitions too. She lived long enough to enjoy her large birthday party, and five months later, she was gone. Your observation that ambitions become less about achieving or proving something and more about making the most of the years ahead really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing, Lilia.
Lovley, thanks for sharing. 🥰
I enjoyed this article! I teach at a high school of exceedingly high academic achievers and often have to talk about the idea of ambition with them. It's easy to be TOO ambitious, especially when you're a clever teenager, aiming to achieve in a million different ways. But being too ambitious is a trap, no matter how clever or hard-working or wealthy we happen to be, we are constrained by the facticity of our situation (especially time!) and so can only ever achieve certain things. As you mentioned, the key to achievement is having achievements that mature with you and are things you really care about (for whatever reason) that you can actually do, rather than making a shopping list of what everyone else thinks are "achievements" and trying to do all of them at once.
Thank you for reading.
I've always felt that "ambition" and "potential" are both very abstract terms. I don't think either of them can exist in a vacuum, and children are often confused about what adults actually mean by them. I remember my teachers constantly telling my parents that I wasn't fulfilling my potential because I lacked ambition. I had no idea what they meant or what they wanted me to do. I even told my parents, "I hate my potential."
In hindsight, I probably had the potential to become a doctor, but I lacked the ambition because I didn't want to be a doctor. On the other hand, I had zero potential to be a good skier, but I did have enough ambition to at least give it a try.
I think what both parents and teachers often fail to recognise or communicate is the difference between a child's potential (to do something) and their ambitions (or lack of them). think both potential and ambitions are very specific to a certain goal...I hope that makes sense :-)
Yes it does, and I agree with you! There’s a lot of kids who hate their “potential” unfortunately.
Lilia,
I very much enjoyed this article.
I recently had a pretty difficult stint where I felt all my major long-term goals were complete and struggled for a little while in a state of ambitionlessness.
After mentally floating aimlessly for a few months, I realized I'd only been chasing goals with clear finish-lines.
I had to realign my mindset a little and now my goals are more about ongoing and open-ended ambitions. Like you mentioned in the article, staying healthy is high on my list too and I've been walking a mile or two every day for almost six weeks now. I also set a goal to write at least one goofy little poem each day, but that usually turns into a dozen or so ☺️
Thank you for such a well-written and thoughtful article.
Please give Lady Bertram my regards.
- Milk
I am glad you like it. I am not always happy with how those questions are framed though, and try to interpret them in more personal way...some times I even don't like them at all and could not imagine using it on real table as a real talk...but it is a very interesting mental gymnastics, and inevitably they turn semi-autobiographical...some times i am surprise on the direction my answer is taking...thanks for reading
Thanks for reading.
Ambitious deep dive!
...or two steps forward one backward